F.D

Faber Drive - Tongue Tied 

I'm soo in love with this song.

Its romantic in a way.

That's what usually happens.

I've been listening to this for the past one week . lol

Loving the mv as well.

Try listening, u might love it. :D

Jean

I am lost

Oh my god !
Oh my god!!
Oh my god!!
I am sooo freaking lost that I have no idea where to celebrate tomoro and who i'm gonna celebrate with !
Pathetic... tsk tsk tsk.

Just a random stupid post :P

Jean

Colours

Beneath all that dull-ness, there's always colours that is hidden. Colours that shows your emotions and feelings.
I miss you.
I miss all the happiness.

Just bored out of my mind.
Couldn't sleep this past few weeks.
Insomnia . lol .
Super duper dark panda eyes.
Just a short post.
A mixed feeling is all I have. I wish I could just turn back time. Erase all those silly stuffs.
But oh, silly me. Even thinking bout that.
I hope you're happy somewhere there. I hope to see you again.

FML
Lifeless.

FML FML FML

Jean

A new chapter

Look, isn't she adorable?!
I love her so much. the most charming smile u can ever imgine!!
Today spent my day at home, cuz I've been hanging out the whole 2 weeks till late nite
and my mum din even screw me until yesterday. lol
Nothing much to update though.
Hm... oh, one thing. I don't get why ppl can just keep shoving me around and saying things that are totally none of my business!
People gossips, not only me.
And yes, if u shove me hard enough, You'll lose the battle.
But I'm done with anything that has gota do with u.
I wan u to be out of my life totally and of cuz, I wouldn't do anything that would remind me of u!
How senseless they could be sometimes.
I'm sory with all the angry post but I just dont wana talk bout him to my frens.

I am fragile but yes, I've gotten stronger bits by bits.
I don't do stupid stuff now, I've got my head back LOL.
Of cuz, explanations are no need to be done as well. Not anymore. :D
And yes, I learned this from a beloved one

" If you want the last word in an argument, say, "You're right."


so true right? lol.
I don't loose my temper so easily now. 
Cuz there's nothing more worth it to be mad at. 
And absolutely nothing to argue about! 
If you want someone to be out of your life, ignore him or her! and DO NOT do anything that reminds u of him /her! 
Just a reminder to ppl who had or having difficulties in their relationship 
He taught me the morals, some use full ones I should say .

Thoughts. Yes. They are needed to be considered. hm.. I wonder how I should choose?
God, Please answer me, Cuz I really don't know how to choose.

Going back to studies now. Grrr.

Love,
Jean

X Mas !

Its just another nothing-to-do post.
was happy cuz I receive an amazing gift. nt reli dat amazing.
But it just feels like wat I wanted to get, x mas got it for me! :D
Rose! I love it! hehe. although x mas eve suck but it went alrite the next day! :D
I'm happy. hm... but did I make a right choice I still wonder.
and oh, I gained 3 kg! OH EM GEE!
I'm stil thinking. ugh. thinking thinking thinking. = =
Screw it! I'll be better :D
I love blueberry muffins!
great to know soo many ppl especially.
oh, will update this post with pictures later . tee hee. :P

Thank u for the great x mas santa!
Thanks a bunch huns! xoxo <3
U guys made the x mas this year special!

Jean

X Mas !

Peeps!! Merry X Mas! Have a super duper wonderful one! 

Was wondering where to celebrate my xmas eve this year. 

But I don't even really care anymore cuz I don't wana plan. And the best part is, I don't have to! :D

Oh yes, xmas it is! 

Thank you Santa! 

Love, 

Jeanice   xoxo 

14.12.2010

Went out for the whole day with my love one.
Had a long chat. I missed her.
I did something brave. at least that's what I think
He never wanted to be with me.
He never will be sure of what he wants.
And he never will be with me.

I walked up to him and told him to move on now.
Hade a hard time to do so.
But I felt like I've done what is suppose to be done in order for me to move on now.
I'm happy. or at least, that's what I want to think as well.
No matter how much I wan him back in my life,
He'll never be back. Returning the revenge . what a joke.

Last night, I did something really really bad as well.
I texted him, saying all those mean stuff. Wow, that used to be soo me.
But after each text, my heart felt heavier and heavier.
I pushed him away, for his own good.
Yes, He'll be able to move on perfectly fine now.
with me having me to hate for.
I guess it's right that when u love someone so much, U just hope he'll be much happy off without u.
It's such a long way to go now.
Oh, and I missed him. a lot
I cried secretly last nite, staying up the whole night, thinking whether what I did was right.
yes, it was alright. and it was right. at least he still thinks that I haven't change.

celebrating all these holidays alone, and without him will be hell.
But I'll be fine, Cuz I know he'll be. And I'm happy to know that.
My heart feels so heavy now.
It's just another long journey to go now.
Starting a whole new journey on me own.

And how I wish he still reads my blog, to understand that what I've done is actually for him
Just putting all those salt on his wound hurts me much more than him cuz its me,
I'm doing that. to hurt him more.
But how I wish he understands that I want him to have a perfect life without me.
I was no good. I was a bitch. But not one anymore.
I just hope no matter what, he can find it in his heart to forgive me.
mayb not, then he'll nt be fine.

All the best my love one.

I love you and I really do.
No matter how I tried to prove to you,
You;ll be blinded with the wrong doings I've done to you,
You'll never c the good in me anymore.

the pendent mean so much more to me. but it's best to let u think that it doesnt mean anything to me anymore.
It's not tangible that counts. it's what the intangible counts. The Memories.
The journey.
And of course, The love we had. *smiles.

Move on now, both of us shall do so. Every human should do so.
Sincerely from my heart, this will be the last time I write this.

I Love You, Baby Boo

Jeanice

Mr Cuddly

peek-a-boo! I'm just happy : D

I miss u sooo much Mr cudly!! finally! you've come back!! its reli nice seeing u again ! :D
Feeling a lil bit love! heeeeeeeeeee. just too excited. lol
Finally got to c u! its been so long lyk bout 2 years already?! hehe.
Cuddly - cuddle.
It rhymes doesn't it? oh wells, my life is full of chocolates and pamper-ness. :D
I c u again soon! I Hope! :D
oh, and have a safe journey !

luv,
Jeanice

Memories

Reminiscence. 

Hold on to every single thing that's beautiful. 

appreciate every single moment that you're with. 

cuz when it's gone. you'll missed it real bad. 

no matter how i try, all i know is that there'll nvr be an ans for me. 

it was all good. but all the lies and faith that made it all wrong. 

i need strength to go on. but i'm lost. 

i'm giving up this time. i know there wont be any more reasons to be here. 

I missed home. But I missed being with u. 

U were my soul mate. I felt so empty. it;s silently killing me. 

I Love U. 

I was always tough. But not this time. Not anymore. 

Human i am too. 

But why erasing part of our memories has been so hard to do so? 

My love died. I died on that November. 

I will not stand in your way now. 

Be happy. 

Taking those bumpy journey was one of the greatest thing I had. 

Holding hands side by side, I felt warm. I missed it. 

And Im still crazily in love with u. 

It's only a matter of time? No. 

Its just been always reminiscence. 

Been listening to all those songs we loved, we talked about. 

oh my, tears it is again.  I hope it never comes back again. 

Jean.

Genting!

It's because of Genting, I got a flu now. 

Lyk immediate flu. 

The wind is so cold and strong and cold and strong that i fell sick immediately!! 

Imagine that! Lol 

But I love the trip anyway. 

It was them that made it awesome and I miss u guys sooo much!

Can't wait for the next trip to Bali! wheeee

It was because all those bored and stress moment that we planned to go to Genting. 

One afternoon we just planned and told each other this

"Hey, let's go Genting this weekend!"

"oh, yes! Let's"

And that's how we got this trip.

oh and forgot to mention that there were actually 2 couples that proposed for the girl's hand in marriage! awww, how sweet! one in theme park and one is in starbucks! 

wish them happily ever after! 

and hm... i know im too young to think bout this, but, wonder when I will get married? :D

This picture I'll never forget!
It was soooo crowded with ppl that we have to queue for long hours!!
and when it was our turn, it rained!!! and everything stopped!
How annoying could that be ?!

there's a lot more ugly pictures though. but... yeah : D

Jean

Pssts

Spending my time in blogs now, looking through, reading every singe posts i've posted. 

Hate to be jobless, but its nice on the other hand to help her go thru her young days :D 

I love you. 

Degree now. decisions again. I hate it when it comes to which universities I have to choose. 

But i've made up my mind and hopefully, just hopefully, I'll get to that particular university :D 

Doing nothing now. bored out of my mind. jeez. 

Oh, working thru my days with workouts! yeap! i finally did it. haha 

just in case you're wondering why "finally', cuz its becuz i've been saying it over and over again about 

working out and going to work out classes like what? 3 years back? and i was so freakin lazy. so "finally"! lol 

working on my make up skills now. they suck. ew. 

I'm gonna fly to cities now! :D 

C ya. 

toodles 

Jeanice 

September 28

My life is so messed up right now.
I don't wana get the hang of this.
But I have to.
Lost my best friend and friends that I thought they were real.
Trust wasn't should be in my dictionary. neither should hope be.
It's too vague that I can't even understand.

I will, sometime, to pull this through.
Pray hard.
My life is so full of drama which I can't even handle anymore.
Life, is too vague.
You're too good to be true. I would've know that.
Stay strong. And be strong. That's all it matters now.

Jean

Just leave

Bitches bitches bitches.
They fucked up ppl's life.
You want peace. I give it to you. take it and leave me alone!
I love you that's why I choose to let go now.
You want freedom? You have it now.
You said you'll feel pressure?
Bull.
Everything's changed now. It's always you that said everything. That makes every decision.
I hate you

Whatever now.
Just leave now.
I wished everything was back to how it was back then.
Everything was a lie.
Coming back was a lie.
I would've known that.
It was a mistake. Coming back here. And having faith.
It's the same freaking tears that makes me think of you.
I came back a changed person. Hoping we could work out better.
We can be together again.
But it's just a total bull.
You .
You
Hurt
Me
Again.
But I still love you.

I just hate you. Leave me. Just leave. I just wish.
How I wish that it's only a dream. You and everything.

Bored out

I'm working.
Drop dead cuz too much pressure
Ugh.

We were talking and laughing
And i felt lonely a sec there. cuz i'm all alone.
She's a good fren of mine from my office just so you know. lol.

Life suck but you can't just sulk it all you want!
Grrr. be tough. just a few more days to go!! :D

Blah Blah Blah

Its just 10 more days and I'm freee!!
: D can't wait to go back to my hometown.
Misses my family way too much. And, especially Her. : )

Life kinda hectic but just 10 more days to go and that's dat.
Sigh. still need to make a decision though. Hate it right here.
But have to be here... ugh

I'm just a heart breaker
:D

Jean

Its over. No?

Did I stop or did i not? 

I do not have any idea. (seriously) 

Life's fun. Enjoy it 

Forgive than forget. 

Its way too true. 

Life's awesome if you just live with it. 

But never stop trying. Or that's what I believe. 

I love you. 

I want you. 

But i'm too young. lol 

watching her with full of different expressions on such tiny face, 

it just tickles my heart. 

She played with me. She responds when I talk to her

and most importantly, She smiles to me. 

Her smile. It's not some words that can describe. cute? no. funny? no. its sweet. but its too sweet. 

seeing those perfect eyes, those little hands and toes. Anything just don't matters to me anymore 

As long as she's with me, that's all I need. 

I wonder how such innocent creature can be born. 

such innocent face. but such evil thoughts can just take her away from me. 

Even though she's not mine. But she's all that matters to me now. 

I hope she just stay with me this way. 

I'm a changed person now. 

I think better now. Not with emotions already 

I'm more matured now.

Am I stopping or not? I don't know 

But I don't want to. 

Cuz you're too amazing to me. 

I choose not to give up cuz i don't want to. 

But, I'm Sorry. I can't be perfect. 

"Nothing is really over until you stop trying"


Jean

Realization

I realized that its hard finding someone and to be with someone who you truly love
I realized that there's no other person that I can trust.
I realized that I've changed.
And finally, I realized I lost that one person who I love the most.
We got separated.
It took one special kiss, one special day, and one special moment to make everything possible.
I lost all that.
And finally, I realized I already gave up my life, gave up hope that one day I will find one true love again.

Sometimes it just takes forever to find that one tru love.
Jeanice

I don't like this life

Grrrr. I feel so empty and alone!
Don't like this feeling.
I've changed.
Cold-blooded, anti social, a loner, and remembering not being so talkative anymore.
It's not who I was but who I am now.
I'm still wondering what's happening to me.
Being so emo and all.
Couldn't find anything that amuses me. : (
Don't understand myself no more.
I wonder, am i who i am now?

I'm lost.
Guide me.

Jean

Work work work

its saturday and I'm working = =
I'm soooo dead.
Working under such pressure and loosing my appetite
Its just terrible.
Been through a lot.
And I guess its time for me to just do the right thing now
Cuz i'm not suppose to be this sensitive.
Everything's seem so wrong.
I lost just about everything.
Nevermind now,
Its just too late to regret now.
What's needed to be done has already been done
Move on, and never try to hang on tight to somthing you don't wana lose.
cuz in the end, it won't be there anymore.




I really do want to know what love is. : )

Jean

cute-ness

Keep looking at this picture.
makes me smile cuz its wayyyy too cute.
I wish i can get one of this. : D

just a random post  : D

F*cked Up Life

Wasn't what I expected.
It happened too fast.
Monday blues. But i feel like it's still that day. 25/9/2010.
I was stone.
Rage, madness. hah. wat a joke in my life.
A screwed up life it was. no, it still is.
I'm all alone now. I thought i would be okay. because i can be heartless at times.
but it wasn't this time. ugh.
gonna get stone ! ahhahaha. ugh. going outta my mind.

Panda and bears. growl. the fight its over.
hm. i thought of the stuff u said.
hm.. will not leave me no matter when. hmm... it was hard on me.
it was a lie too. ugh.
lies are ugly. truths are even uglier.
watery eyes please go away.
cuz i just wana forget wat happened den it'll be easier for me.

live ur life to the fullest . *pfft bullshit.
in other words, that means, screw up ur life whenevr u feel like u want to. LOL

A NOT-SO-WONDERFULL-LIFE-AFTERALL

hectic life it was for the past one and a half month.
so caught up with work.
the upcoming event precisely.

caught up with some things as well.
thought it went well.
but I was wrong.
its still not okay.
it won't be okay i guess.

jeez. feel so lonely right now.
so empty and so alone.
laughing to myself, thinking how foolish i am.

wanted to just screw up my life
but i will regret it. Oneday. and i know that.

that feeling, belonged to, someone to cuddle with.
I miss that.

Fate

Blank Blank Blank

I have no idea what to write anymore.
He seems to be fine without me.
Like he used to and like he is now

sigh....
Can anyone just tell me how do i fix a super broken relationship instead of just walking away?
Why does it have to be so tough?


To love one’s fate means to fully affirm one’s life. 


 "Did you ever say yes to a pleasure? Oh my friends, then you have also said yes to all pain. All things are linked, entwined, in love with one another."

--Nietzsche

OVER AGAIN

There's once, there's twice and there's the third time.
How could anything so bad happens over and over again ?
It's hard to understand as I couldn't handle it anymore
I'm just not strong enough.
How and why in the world that my life would be so screwed up?
I just can't take it and handle it the same way as I did back then.
Sigh. I just don't know what Im supposed to do anymore
It was always u and it's still u.
Now? You'r just gonna let go again.
I thought you wouldn't do that again.
But all those promises?
You just keep pushing me away as you dont trust me anymore when you said you do.

Toy Story 3

Haven't been blogging for a long long time cuz I'm sooo lazy nowadays :D

Decided to blog today about our 5th anniversary with the silly one 

It was actually on the 25th of June 2010

Went for a suckly kinda dinner but after that went for Toy Story 3!! 

It was really sad at the end. Believe it or not, tears were actually streaming around my eyes. It was really touching when Andy is unwillingly to give Andy away to Bonnie (the lil girl)

But what i love the most if the Lots-O’-Huggin Bear! He smells like strawberry and he's sooo hug-able! 

I would love to have one of Lots-O'! :(

         

before dinner! luv the top though :D

Hates it when he didn't wear any top. it ruins my picture! :(

The short life of Katie Kirkpatrick

I saw a blogger posted about Katie Kirkpatrick
Her story touches me
Its just too contagious,
Their love, their smile and the strength that Katie still holds on till the end after her wedding

Her strength was unbelievable.


She had to use an oxygen tank to support her breathing


She can't even stand for long hours because of the pain
and needed to catch her breath in the middle of the wedding



I'm just touched to see how strong their love is
How strong she is
And him willing to take her hand in marriage.

Mum's Day

okie, done with my upr pics,
Next, Mum's day!
Went for dinner at Kirishima, a Japanese restaurant in Cititel on sat
And the food was super amazing!
Miss the slupeee octopus! =(

After dinner. went for a stroll at Gurney Drive
And just saw the sweeetest thing!
My freakin nosy parents are freakin sweet-ing holding hands!
How sweet could that be huh?
I couldn't get a picture cuz the whole time was talking to bear.
Ugh, miss the moment.
But it was the sweetest thing I'd seen for that day.

*will upload the pics tomoro!

Double Wow

Life was emo . But not anymore. *smiley face
I found out I missed a lot of blogging and there's some catching up to do.
Too much to post so I'll just randomize some of the parts that I couldn't remember. LOL

Latest, Mois and One Club with the girls and the dudes.
Picas!

met up with KK and Edmund in One =)

Hearts! xD

tipsy or sober? lol

*opps, find out im late for class, so i'll just upload later!

Frust-ness

I'm going out of my mind

PERFECTION?!

WTF?!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Blowing my mind out~!

I just feel like put my half of my body out and scream out loud!

Taking pictures make me sick!

No fun!

STRESS STRESS STRESS STRESS

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Whites

Chapel.

When?

I imagined myself in white long gorgeous wedding gown

I must be pretty

Hm,

I want to take pictures of that

I will,

Maybe someday

"You're the most beautiful angel on your wedding"

Jan

NEW SEM

wow, its already another sem now, not only that, this is gonna be my last sem now.

wish me luck! hope i do well on my internship.

oh god, no idea what am gonna choose to major in now

decisions, decisions. makes my head aches.

this semester is goona be a fun one though, dekstop and photo.

oh well, separations...

sigh.

A BETTER LIFE

U came into my life.... then, u left, i asked... u said it will be better... it wasn't... a day without you, a hole to be mended.I might not be there for you but i will be, watching over you, guiding you through every steps. hang on now. just hang on a little longer, things will just probably get better.

"Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to.

Though that doesn't mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care.

Sometimes, goodbye is a painful way to say I Love You."

Jan

OLD TIMES

when we were little kids... we tip toed around bare footed, doing things that we knew we're gonna get some scoldings. but we don't even show a slightest of the worries on our faces, it was fun. because we know, we just know that everything will be fine after a while. after we get all those scolding.

when we were small, we used to not have worries. we cried when we fell, but after those cries, it will all be okay.

when we were small, things were unclear, we wouldn't even care what's coming ahead of us. we took that risk. but not now anymore.

we cried, then we try... it was tough.. and it will always be tough. i remember, we remember, memories stay but human beings stay and leave. they are just passengers in our life. a passenger that leaves so much memories but takes your breath and heart away.

"once you find someone, the one that you call it as soul mate, try your hardest not to loose them, because you will never get over the feelings of loneliness."

i couldn't... i won't be able to stand up without you by my side to pick me up when i fall, i won't be able to stop my tears without you wiping each and everyone of it. i won't be able to smile anymore.. i had this feeling once.. i remembered now.. i choose not to because it was hard for me to hang on until now. once again, i have to stand with my own feet now. i cried, i wrote, i smiled, i will remember... thanks love...

when you leave, you will have my heart with you. to be there for you at all times...

p.s. I Love U

Janice

TILL DEATH DO US PART

wat am i right now? i dont even know

who am i ? there's no one to tell me that

what've i done? i keep wondering

i've changed... worst... could there be anyone out there to tell me? i'm turning into a beast. a whole new person that i don't even who am i anymore. what have i done? there's just no words to describe how i feel. i don't know who am i anymore....

everything seems possible back den... i wished.. i hoped... one day we could just go back der, it feels better that way. it feels real... i was happy...

The scribbled diary which is full with so many wonderful memories, the unwritten pages left which i can't wait to fill in... it was all those laughs i missed, those moments, the tiniest gestures that i won't missed out. it amuses me... i used to be so afraid, so i hold on.... tightly. but they flee anyways. I know, i just know they will come back. they certainly will, only the right moment. i want to stay, stay just this way... oh, how wonderful it wil be.

the pages now are all messed up now. words are unclear, pages had been crippled up, pages are tored, blot out sentences. but i saw drips of tears. they were all left behind. that's all i see now. how i wished that the pages are still scented with memories, written with beautiful moments. it was all i wanted. it was the best days of my life

perfection turned their back on us. or we just messed it up? i learn each day will pass, heartache will be mended. its just a matter of time. but how long will it take? i have no idea. i'll wait. i'l wait for that day to come. it will be alrite den. and that's the day we'll be waiting for... or it'll be just only me?

when i hold you. it was love... it was perfect. my valentine.

LOVE

"No one falls in love by choice, it’s by chance.

No one stays in love by chance, it’s by effort.

No one falls out of love by chance, it’s by choice."

CRUSHED

its how amazing people could tell their lies without feeling any guilt....

sometimes, when you pour your heart out, it's just not enough.

people changes, people lies and people, they just don't care....

hopes pull you down, courage? the courage to face everything by yourself, its hard. be tough...

the people who are right beside u could eat your heart up. the one you trusted the most are the one who you have to fear the most....

unexpected...

undeniable ...

crushed...

it was all bout having faith in yourself... hold on tight... things might get better.. u r the one who determines your own faith. the actions, the words you choose. it's all in you

hold on tight... have faith in yourself.

Jeanice

MOIS NIGHT

went there yesterday nite, was pissed off at the beginning but after that, all was fine, had tons of fun!! i brought camera, but the person who's holding my camera went missing, so i can't take pics with all my friends!! grrrr. manage to just snap these 2. lol

IT NEVER ENDS

the past 3 days was fun, had sleepover, things went out of hand... double lmao, it was one of the most unforgettable 3 days we had together, glad i made it and glad that we were together.

1st day wasn't much and so... there's not much freakin pics!! we turned bored so, tada!

look lyk some puffer fish face xD

we didn't even asked each other to post what kind of expression! natural telepathy, awww

luv dis the best!

2nd day was fun, went to the beach and celebrated her belated birthday by bbq-ing

had this only!! (not reli xD, nt on diet whenever it comes to bbq!)

3rd day, checked out, lunch, and teso. having lots of fun in tesco, kerang-ish and people freakin thought that he was actually scolding me and i was actually turn out to be a mentally-retarded-fuck-person! but of cuz, we were fooling around and he bought me sushies!! nom - nom

end of the 3 days.

wish that some things were able to avoid or just even be blind about it, all i could express is that i'm sorry

loops

hm... having apartment's day and nite-out. lol hope it'll be fun!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

read bout anything that you have on your wall. wanted to write there and wishes you so badly but something stops me. it brings me to the day which makes you and myself feel so guilty till today. i know everything's changed. i know what your friends will see in me, but not the true me, and you know that. i know you what you will choose. i know...i just happen to know. but it breaks my heart. how could a strong friendship could just feel apart just like that?

i dont get it... make me. i wanted us to go back the way we used to so badly. i wanted you to talk to me the way you used to. i wanted us to talk the way we used to. i wanted us to joke around again. but its just different now isn't it? i wish i wasn't there. i wanted to celebrat this very day with you. we were planning for so long, together. it was so important to me. i was anxious, but it turned out all too wrong, way tooo wrong. i wish i could just turn back time. i wish... i wish... i wish... laughing silently to myself. if you could predict whatever's coming your way. you wouldn't even say you wish now. i couldn't agree more. silly me.

happy brithday, kev. may all your wishes come true.
love always,
janice

TRYING TO BELIEVE

its how funny people can just change and ignore you just like that. Been so foolish to believe in people lately... shouldn't believe nor trying to. We used to hang out like best friends but now? just becuase i did one mistake and you guys are pushing me away?! what the fuck is wrong with you guys?! oh or mayb you guys just mix with people who define themseleves as cool and rich and being a freakin ass bitch huh?! we used to call you out whenever we were but not anymore cuz you're the one who's being such a bitch... not saying anything, no rings, ntg at all. are friends supposed to be like that?! i feel hurt and angry. thought you guys are not like the others but you're the same all of you. not only you guys look down on people, you discriminate them, you push them aside for just one stupid mistake. oh i see your true colors now. oh yes. laughing out to myslef for being so foolish. i wish i could care less. i wish we were never been friends. fucking assholeS. gah being so freakin emo lately no idea. guess its because of too many dramas and problems. oh well, 2010 is not my year... bad bad beggining...

WOW-NESS

double wow. lol.. 2 of my bff's birthday is just one day apart... 30th and 31st. but thrilled cuz get to celebrate it with her cuz she's d most important person to me! luv her heart her... even if u gonna freakin say i'm a lesbo or some shits lyk dat.. i won't put up with it cuz i luv her! and i dont even freakin care whatcha think bout me! she's amazing... she's different... she's unique and most importantly.. she's hot! how could eu ever get a hot bff? but if you're Paris Hilton so yeah.. lmao. ooooh and she could b a bitch sometimes! we have each other alrite and we hang on to each other too! betrayal will never get into our way...all i gotta say is that she's just a wonderful fren to me and i can't wait till THE DAY!! oh yeah....

THE ROCKING BOAT

would it be just fine if we could run away from all those unnecessary problems?

would it be just fine when we just leave it like that instead of thinking too much?

everything's gonna be fine... i assure you that... its just a matter of time

everything's a matter of time... you'll get use to that... you'll get use to that timing and gestures that could make your heart ache...

trust if a tough word... u and i knoe that.. but if we have faith in ourselves... we could even change our own destiny... yes the sky if high above us... but think properly... act wisely...then, no one will ever know what is on your mind... there is no one in this world we could get into their mind fully..

in other words... have faith in yourself... not in others because in a matter of time, they will just let you down...friends are eternity, yes. but ask yourself this.. could you trust them with your life? faith.... its all along about faith....

FRIENDSHIP

you said i pretended to be a friend... you're wrong.. i never pretended to be a friend... i trusted so much... i believe so much... instead... you get me wrong... disappointment got into my way... you should understand me i'm not anyone who's being fake... you have no idea what people could talk bout... and you have no idea what could people do out of desperation just because of friendship or shall i say... influence?

we were beyond friends... we were more than that and i truly appreciate that.. the people you know or the people you trusted the most could be the foe... could be the one who hurt you the most instead of people you thought is hurting you... how my heart shattered to pieces... you'll never know... i take friendship so importantly... sometimes its just words or even a phrase that could just change you of what you think about me... something you should know... someone you should find out who she is really... its not of what i heard. its what i see... she was doing or still doing it because she's afraid she will be alone... dont you ever wonder why she wants to create so much drama? and she... the one who i trusted too... sold us out... it was never about bitchin... it was about telling out the true feelings or thoughts we have.... or its just because we're not at your side so you think that we're bitching? what she said is not bitching? what we all said is not bitching? think throughly...

i will never play a true feelings... don't you ever wonder why we turned out to be like this? its because of someone's say/thoughts... i see through her now... you can only see a person's true color when you're not close with him/her... i wasn't pretending.. i wasn't trying to hurt you... i wasn't trying to fool around.... i wasn't trying to take our friendship/s away....and most importantly i wasn't playing the part of a friend... it was just all true friendship/s... it was all true feelings... i was never a faker... it all end this way just because of what we hear... of what we believe... maybe we shouldn't believe it at all... maybe we shouldn't even try to listen to what people say... when we listen... instead of hearing what people told us... we turn to be a monster... foe among friends...

i saw the message... how could you just misunderstand me like that? accusing me like that? i wasn't... i just couldn't bare to do this again... my heart was tearing apart... its just not right... she's just doing out of desperation of her "true" friendship... and she's just doing it all because of afraid of losing...i see all that alright...its all about manipulation... how a bitch she could be... and i see that alright too...you're right... a friendship could be so fragile...its just words that makes it all end.. you'll get it...one day... thanks for the days that we spent together... appreciates the friendship we once had... like i said... you're the only one i can trust... i hope you can think ... "its the person who are around us that we should be afraid of not anyone else" they can be fake...how sorry i felt and how disappointed i felt and still feel...and i reli do hope no one except you to know about this... i'm not afraid... i just doesn't want to create any drama...

LOST

i dont need anyone to tell me how i've changed and how i shud be treating people... wat's going on with me? i dont know and i dont wan to find that out either... but it makes me wonderin.. is it because of who or what i'm becoming makes me loose my best fren? he was d most wonderful person i ever met... i'll never forget him... but it breaks my heart when he choose to ignores... choose to avoid... does it always have to be time? i dont even know what i'm becoming of... sorry is not d word so.... *argh... been so emo lately... no idea why... shouldn't be cuz i'm happy.. or just trying to be happy? *don wana find that out either

FOOLISH-NESS

it was wrong... totally wrong... i'm too naive... to blv evry single thing you said... i blv eu now... wad was i thinking? gosh... it was just wrong... fortunately, it wasn't deep... smiled today... i wonder what it would be like now? couldn't get it out of my mind... thanks for letting me know... thanks for telling me... i was blessed... the thing i loved the most... the wind... you know now dont you?